As told in several mythological stories, it all started where the children were sent off to Gurukuls (A Guru led Residential School) where parents almost had no interaction with their children until they grew up. Only after seeing them post 18 years, they actually knew what their child had grown into. Until then the whole parenting process was left to some other teacher
Beginning early 1990-2000, we saw the first effects of change in parenting, as the focus slowly started shifting towards encouraging the child to follow their passions than a predetermined career
Parenting was not just a duty or responsibility anymore but rather a new form of art that had to be skilfully handled. You got to do it only once in your career and you had to ensure, you absolutely can’t go wrong in it as the entire future of your child rested in it. Every step of the growing process had to be carefully tended to so that it is done right and ensure the kid gets the required attention and resources so that he meets with success everywhere he goes
The types of parenting varies from house to house vastly based on the culture, siblings, status and family setting. Some kids growing up in a nuclear family setting will receive a different kind of parent esp while growing up alone. On the other hand, a kid growing up in a big family with cousins, brothers/sisters etc. will largely be left to mingle with them with far lesser interference.
To broadly classify the general parenting techniques usually observed, here are the 3 different types
“Do what as I say” Parenting:
The most commonly observed parenting in 1 out of 2 households is an authoritative style of parenting. The parents word is final and basically instructs the kid on what should he do. The kid has to follow a set of rules and guidelines around the house and basically has very less freedom in pursuing anything. The child’s inputs are rarely heard and most often his voice is subdued around the house
“I Don’t care” Parenting:
In an alarmingly large no of houses, the opposite of authoritative parenting happens. In this scenario the parents are least bothered by their child nor his activities. They are oblivious to his studies, his progress nor his skills. The primary reason is because the parents may have to work longer hours at the office and the child is by his own managing his work with little or less help from his parents. Even the interaction level is to a bare minimum mainly in the weekends
Source of pic : http://photos2.demandstudios.com/DM-Resize/photos.demandstudios.com/getty/article/151/239/86513689_XS.jpg
The last but not the least is Buddy Parenting. It is one of the most famous and most preferred, recommended style of parenting by every child specialist and psychologist. Buddy parenting offers a 360 degree holistic view in understanding a kid and helping him out at every point in his/her life. The parent basically acts as a close friend, also referred by Brand Chocos as “Khuljaye Bachpan”
This parenting style creates the ideal bond with the child, getting involved in their world, participating and in turn learn something ourselves. Be it teaching him current affairs, how to ride a bicycle, or even a easier trick to solve complex mathematical problems. Surprisingly in this type of parenting, the learning is always two ways , as one gets to know so much about what’s happening in the neighborhood, school and some interesting info from the kid too
Here’s some of the most interesting “Khushi ke Pal” moments I have come across in different households, where the parents have learnt some valuable lessons from their own kid
Source of Image : http://www.ikeepsafe.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/welcome3.jpg
- Working with technology: Let’s face it. Kids these days are far smarter when it comes to computers and technology. I’ve seen countless scenarios where the child has helped out with his dad’s excel sheets, downloading the latest apps in his phone or to even assist in replacing the cartridge for printing. So next time you are looking for someone to update your phone or change settings in TV, you don’t need to call a service center but rather just ask your kid. He may fix it in no time
- Never stop asking questions: The most valuable lesson one gets to learn from their kid is their fascination and their relentless pursuit in asking questions, however dumb or irrelevant they may be. This allows for a continuous learning whoever it might be and a valuable life lesson
- Learning a new language : Sitting down with your child to help him/her with studies and they teach you back what they learnt in school. There has been countless cases, even popular in media, where the parents are not literate, but the child comes home and teaches their mother and father spoken English.
Incidentally, I also happened to witness one of my neighbors child teaching her mom Hindi everyday after her lessons in school
- Being Blunt and Frank : Have you realized how straightforward kids are and not beat around the bush to raise a subject. That offers some valuable insight in dealing with our day to day lives and may actually help us if we adopt a similar strategy in our workplace
- Its ok to have fun: Who said work is the only thing that makes your life a success. Without enjoying and having a bit of fun now and then is the key in making your life work, and you get to learn that by watching your kid play and have fun with absolutely no tension or pressure
Do check out Kellogg’s initiative in promoting this wonderful style of buddy parenting
One thought on “Khuljaye Bachpan”
Interesting take on the contest prompt, Karthik. I feel parenting today has evolved from 'Do this!' to 'Hey buddy, let's do this together!'. I have two young nephews at home and I see their parents being involved with everything they do, and it reflects in their upbringing.
Here's what I wrote –