Friday, August 12, 2016

The Pseudo Patriotic Indian

Its the 70th Independence day of India, a new era India is witnessing with paradigm shifts in technological advances and economic developments. The last 7 decades post independence from British colonization, in a dramatic turn of events, has only seen several fronts demanding to split this nation in separate states for their own political advantage & ruling power than a call to unite this nation into one super power. Currently we stand at 29 states and 7 Union Territories, after the recent split of AP and Telengana 


But one thing common across all these states is the emergence of suddenly formed patriotic Indians shouting out their pledges, vowing to only buy Indian goods, trying to come up with creative ideas to develop the nation and trolling everyone who may disagree with their opinion, even its a mere choice of a filmstar or a political party

You'd see this kind of people everywhere around you , but in case you are a bit clueless to find the "true - pseudo" patriotic Indian , here are some quick ways in which you can easily find him/her

  • The Khadi Indian with an iPhone : A person who strongly advocates to buy only Indian products and proclaims to be a true Indian at heart . Yet, would be possessing the latest iPhone from US, wearing a GAP Tshirt , dining at McDonalds and  KFC and works for a US multinational.
  • The Brain Drain Dad : Someone who talks about brain drain in India, pities & ridicules the youngsters for going abroad for higher education. Yet , quite proudly says I'm looking only for a US citizen or a green card holder to marry my daughter, with a degree in Princeton/Harvard/Yale, earning a minimum of  $100,000 / year and do not want guys working in India
  • The Tax Saving Professional : The guy who lives in his own family house and claims for House Rent allowance in his IT Filing, by saying he's paying rent to his parents and asking his friend to sign in left hand in the rental form posing as a landlord, in pursuit of saving a few thousand in Income tax. Yet the very next day shouts in anger as to how Vijay Mallya didn't pay his taxes properly and fled to UK.
 
  • The Police Fearing Driver : The guy/girl who feel it's okay to drive past the signal even in red/amber as long as there's no police in the vicinity . The person who feels helmets are there only to save 100rs of fine and all other times while driving, it'll be balanced carefully above the fuel tank. The sudden music lover who can't differentiate between jazz and rock, but insists on using earphones even during the 20 mins of bike driving. 

Source : TheHindu.com
  • The Generous Citizen : A mid level guy who blows his money on alcohol, tobacco, movies, designer clothing and dines out practically the entire month but somehow feels it's only a rich person's prerogative and duty to donate their entire savings to orphanages or flood relief funds. All they need is one Facebook Post or a tweet from a celebrity regarding an expensive purchase of a jet or a high end car. This is enough for the public to go out to the streets burning the effigy of the actor, calling him anti national
  • The Conservative Indian :  After reading through several incidents of rapes and harassment, would raise a call about how unsafe it is for women to go out and the demand for more security against cruel men. Yet the very next day, logs on to Instagram/FB/Twitter, sees a glamourous pic of a celebrity, trolls them and calls her a slut for dressing provacatively and being the sole reason for rapes.
  • The Modi-Fied Indian : The guy who has suddenly woke up from a 20 year hiatus, believes UNESCO has awarded Modi as the best PM in the world and the national anthem as the best anthem in the world , forwards every message praising Modi ,even when most of them is fake. Believes Modi has the power to pass laws single handedly, has supposedly transformed the state of Gujarat like a modern day Singapore (With digitally enhanced graphical photos) though it's still mostly under developed. No matter what you say, he strongly believes in a Modi wave that has resulted in all nations investing several thousand crores in India ( but then doesn't realize most of them never materialized and the remaining few were just loans). Overall believes one can be a true patriotic Indian , only if you believe in Modi, while the rest of them are anti nationals 


  • The Pathanjali Indian : Frankly, this one is my favourite. A brand, recently launched by Baba Ramdev is the new craze among the pseudo patriotic Indians. After having consumed the likes of Britannia, ITC and Unilever products for the past three decades or so, suddenly believes that buying Pathanjali products is equivalent to being patriotic.You ask why and the say ,because its made in India, all items are organic and complete proceeds goes to charity. Even better they believe that even a Pathanjali biscuit is Ayurvedic and has medicinal qualities in them (A toast to stupidity & Ignorance ). However eating a Britannia or a Good Day Biscuit is now suddenly being evil as I'm contributing to a foreign MNC to grow . Little do they know that Pathanjali is not fully organic as they claim, have been caught up in malpractices so many times, produce defective quality items, print items with future manufacturing dates and primarily outsourcing manufacturing to other companies 


Which one of them have you met ? Do share your experiences in the comments box..

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